Emotional security in long-distance relationships


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long-distance relationship


Despite modern conveniences and technology, long-distance couples still face unique challenges. Problems can arise when it comes to connecting with each other, communicating well, and establishing trust. Vulnerability in personal relationships is difficult enough without the added concern of living far apart.

This begs the question: How can you promote emotional security and connection in a long distance relationship?

Absence and Perspectives


When the space between you feels abysmal, it’s important to remember all of the beautiful, amazing things that you initially saw in your partner that made you stick together despite the obstacles. This is key to maintaining a safe connection, especially during times of stress and conflict. This is to avoid getting a wrong, negative perspective based on your current condition.

Dr. John Gottman writes about this in his books in order to maintain a culture of love and admiration between you and your partner. The resulting positive perspective is seeing each other’s true beauty rather than idolizing or quickly disparaging them based on the distance and time they spend apart.

If you are in a long distance relationship and want to create more emotional security and trust, here are some things to keep in mind.

Use what you have


Stay connected through video. Modern communication technology gives couples who are separated by distance the opportunity to share their lives with one another. In long-distance relationships, couples can now connect not only over the phone but also via video chat to access their partner’s eyes, face and body language.

Connect often


Relationship expert Dr. Robert Navarra believes that couples should use the immediacy of tools such as text messaging, video chat, social media, etc. to keep the flow of communication flowing frequently and regularly. You can keep up with the little things like what your partner had for breakfast and be there for the big things, such as: B. Talk to them after an interview. Constant conversations throughout the day, including on your phones, will help cement your bond.

Create a culture of preference and admiration


It is easy to override negative feelings, which will lead to you slandering your partner. However, a positive perspective, fueled by empowering each other’s nature and caring qualities, translates into a positive perspective in which you can see the other’s beauty despite human imperfections. This works especially if your situation is experiencing normal external stressors.

Create love cards


After all, long distance relationships can benefit from all of this communication by creating love cards for one another. Talk about your hopes and dreams. Share painful, yet formative, childhood experiences. You can know yourself better than anyone by discussing the roads and detours of your inner world.

Being vulnerable is never easy, but it can be done whether you are in the same room or several hundred kilometers away. Don’t let the distance get more than physical. Stay connected and promote emotional security between you.

Share, show and speak your love! Take your relationship off the autopilot and switch to loud loving. In this brand new series of exercises, activities, and videos, Dr. John and Julie Gottman can show you how to love your partner even better. Check out Loving Out Loud and start improving your relationship today.